Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Motivate your team, make them watch porn


Picture the scene. It is matchday. The players are on the bus on their way to the stadium. One of the players puts on a good old rough rock song to get the team pumped up for the game. Just like when it happens to us sometimes, you can imagine the players getting the blood pumping in their bodies thanks to a song. Sometimes you see the players listening to their I-pods before the games and you can just imagine the intensity of the moment in their minds. Sometimes you need a little bit of inspiration from another form of art to help enhance a performance: a speech, a song, an image, a video…etc. They can all be used to get players driven. Well, it seems there’s a new form of motivation which has recently been used to motivate players: Porn.

Yes, you read it right, Porn. Palermo (US Citta di Palermo) coach Serse Cosmi makes his players watch porn movies in the team bus before matches to “motivate them”.  He recently stated that “I give them porn to watch on the team coach on the way to games. It's a good way of getting them ready for the match. It creates a great atmosphere and motivates the troops.” Cosmi is quite an eccentric coach. He’s recognized for almost always wearing a cap and shouting all the time; he sometimes even wears sunglasses during games. You can’t miss him. Definitely a face that is easy to remember. But will this new form to motivate his players work? Will other managers follow this method?

I find it difficult to imagine a group of adult men, sitting in a bus before a professional football game, getting motivated to play football by watching porn. It’s very hard to imagine and it is hilarious to even think of it. There is a disputed myth that footballers are not allowed to engage in sexual activities 24 hours prior to kick off because it would not allow them to perform to their optimum level (again, this is a disputed myth as there is no substantial evidence that players keep their willies in their pants before games – and I don’t think we’d care to know or have any evidence about that). For those of us who do play football regularly, I can assure you that most of us (again, debatable) avoid sexual activities on the day of the game itself because we know that it wouldn’t allow us to perform as well as we would in normal circumstances.

So let’s say this myth was in fact true, would it be effective if these players, who are already subject to limitations in their private sexual lives, are getting turned on or getting their imagination stirred before going out and performing? So far, it seems his methods are not really making much of a difference. Since Cosmi has taken over, Palermo have won 3, lost 3 and drawn 1; not exactly what one would consider a success.

Prior to the Champions League final in 2009 vs Man United, Pep Guardiola famously made his Barcelona players watch a video he put together which had clips of Barca’s best performances during the season all presented in a hero-like manner inspired by the movie “Gladiator”. It worked extremely well as Barcelona played like warriors on that night. I wonder what goes through the minds of these Palermo players after they watch some porn before playing. Are they going to perform like porn-stars on the pitch? Run around naked and feel like “real men” possibly. Maybe Cosmi just enjoys watching porn and does it to make sure he’s the one watching some of his best movies before a game. Maybe that’s why he looks crazy. Maybe that’s why he looks a bit like a retired porn star. Either way, Football needs more personalities like Serse Cosmi. He’s good entertainment.

3 comments:

  1. hahaha I dont think I would be motivated to play football after watching porn :p

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  2. People tend to complicate their own lives, as if living weren't already complicated enough.

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