Monday, October 21, 2013

A Letter of apology to Juventus fans from Carl Ethan Kingston



Dear Juventus & Serie A fans,

Some of you might still remember me and the article I wrote approximately 1 year ago on this very blog about Juventus and the Serie A. For those of you who don’t, click on this link to refresh your memories.

Moving forward, I am writing this article in order to apologize for the lack of professionalism in the way the last article was written. It was done very quickly, it lacked depth, it was not credible and quite frankly it was pretty amateurish. Henceforth, I am now writing this virtual letter to officially apologize for that last article I wrote. It contained sarcasm, humor and was supposed to be funny, however a lot of Serie A and Italian football lovers were quite offended and understandably so.

Therefore, I repeat, I am writing to you once more to say I’m sorry. I really am. I am terribly sorry……for you lot that have to watch this horrible league called Serie A! It is a punishment to the eyes! The vintage cameras, the 90’s advertisements on the billboards, the horrible stadiums, the horrible teams (like Chievo Verona), the horrible kits - I really truly am terribly sorry that you are either brainwashed or naive enough to actually watch a whole season of all that!!!

I do realize that name calling is not the answer to my frustration. Quite clearly there are many things in life that we have trouble understanding. Things that are far more important than us like the Universe, God, Pogba and Vidal’s hair, I myself also have difficulties understanding how people can actually put pickles in their mouth, but I digress. Moreover, I really cannot understand how Italy’s National Side does well in tournaments and I find it hard to believe that the Serie A still exists despite all these organized crime scandals we hear every few months. These are existential questions for me. I really do not know why Juventus are still a professional entity following Calciopoli? It’s hard to grasp this because Juventus fans are oblivious to so many things in the football world. For example, here’s what a discussion between a Juventus fan and another random person goes like. Let’s call the guy Jeff, shall we?
(we’ll keep it in English)

Juventus Fan: Ahhh Fuck Off!!! Pogbaaaa! 31 titles! Take that you c*nts!!!

Jeff (Hesitant): Erm… 29, they took off 2 titles because of the calciopo…

Juventus fan (Interrupts): What?! Please shut up and check the articles on Google!! Everyone was doing it! Everyone was speaking to referees before the game Jeff!

Jeff: So… why were they the only ones that got relegated? I mean there must be something else that had happened? Something that we don’t know has happened…

Juventus fan: I don’t know Jeff, has it? Has something else happened? (Sarcastically) Ummm maybe it’s just because Inter Milan control everything in league?! Maybe it was a conspiracy against Juventus?! You tell me Jeff, how many titles can you count with your hands? Bring them out and count them! Etc…

Jeff: (at this point of the conversation, Jeff begins imagining sticking a shotgun, or something else, in his mouth to shut him up, but decides to change the topic). So, anyways, do you want to go to the movies. Perhaps we can watch “Gravity” or something?

End of discussion.

Jeff changed the subject because the bottom line remains that despite it all, these fans do love Juventus, they do love Italy (most of them), they do love the Serie A. We probably don’t understand them, we try not to judge them, just like we don’t judge people that are bipolar (except behind their back)…it is a condition that we have to accept. We’d rather end the conversation before it leads to something vicious and we keep the hatred in our hearts for Juventus, Italy and the Serie A in general.

Let’s face it, the Serie A has lost its charm. What once was the pinnacle of European football in the early 90s is now nothing but a horrible league. You cannot compare it to the Premier League for example, where despite the 80% of foreigners you have non-stop action and entertainment, or La Liga where you’ve got skillful masters showing off every week or even Ligue 1 where the big bucks and stars are beginning to head. The fact is that the Serie A is currently the worst league among the big ones in Europe. The strange thing is that some people still debate about the Serie A not being the worst. I’ll never understand it, just like I’ll never understand people who don’t think that ‘The Usual Suspects’ is one of the best movies of all-time. I just can’t.


Best Regards,

Yours faithfully,


Carl E. Kingston

9 comments:

  1. CUNT EATSHIT KINGSTON you bastard.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks man, next time it's better you DON'T apologise ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. yeah! why waste time on serie A.
    we all know the good stuff is the MLS and even China.
    imagine having more fans than the total population of any of these European countries.


    ReplyDelete
  4. People who don't understand the beauty of Serie A, shouldn't watch football, because simply the don't get the concept.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think this year not than last year's kits, but very good http://www.footballtshirtuk.com/Juventus-Shirt.html

    ReplyDelete
  6. No to modern football and therefore no to the premier league which is for clowns

    ReplyDelete
  7. Postings are so helpful at all thank you very much all of this.

    Jelly Gamat

    ReplyDelete
  8. It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters,

    ReplyDelete
  9. I couldnt find to much other information on this article, so it was nice to discover this one. I will be back to look at some other posts that you have another time. discover this info here

    ReplyDelete